
For years I never thought that I would get to this place of being comfortable enough to openly share my story of childhood sexual abuse. So openly, calmly, without judgement and without being physically triggered in my body; where my heart would jump out of my chest, the muscles in my fingers and toes would clench so tightly, sweaty palms, cold and clamminess and intense fear and panic would take over.
My body would react to the slightest trigger that it sensed as danger, that it sensed as a reminder of the trauma. It’s almost as if my body would shut down every time it was triggered. The slightest, most benign things would set my body off. Having a conversation with someone, hearing a loud noise, or simply having thoughts, emotions or memories of the past would set of the alarm bells in my body.
Reflecting on this post that I shared 3 years ago is a momentous victory for me. I used the month of April (Sexual Assault Awareness Month) as a platform for me to share my story for the first time. It was one of the most difficult things that I have done. I felt raw and vulnerable, but I also felt supported and heard for the first time in my life. Sharing my story publicly was just one part of my journey but it was a necessary part of my story as I was able to prove to myself that my voice matters and there is so much strength and power in my voice!
And now I can finally say that I feel whole. I feel like a person. I am no longer fragmented. I have loved, supported, and nurtured those inner wounds and that little girl inside of me who felt so helpless and worthless as she grew up. I did everything in my power to move from broken to wholesome and it’s an incredible feeling to know that this is possible!
As we approach Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I just wanted to share this post as a reminder that healing from sexual trauma is possible. It’s a difficult and lifelong journey but letting go and healing those deep scars that the trauma has left is absolutely within reach.
If you are a victim of sexual trauma, I want you to know that I believe you and I support you. There is power in sharing your story, if not to me then someone you can trust. If you are looking for a community that can support you, please join me in my private Facebook Group “From Surviving to Thriving After Sexual Abuse and connect with me on clubhouse @DrJessicaSamaroo.
My Facebook Post Sharing My Story For the First Time – April 2018
I was 7 years old when I was sexually molested, the abuse continued until I was 16.
My soul was shattered, childhood stolen from me, and I was left without an identity to face this harsh reality.
I once hated the sound of my voice, today I am using that voice to empower other women/men like myself!!!
I urge anyone who has been affected by sexual abuse to please reach out to someone.Reach out to me. Your voice matters and I believe you. There is hope, and there are good people in this world.
You are not destined for failure as I once believed. I have started a beautiful journey of healing with beautiful
survivors like myself and I am a testament of Hope.Let us not continue to turn a blind eye to this topic. This is real guys and it happens more often than we like to believe.
The time is NOW to end this! #SAAM#EmbraceYourVoice #Survivor #Resilience #YouMatter #JaneDoeNoMore #ThePowerofBelief #Hope
#Love #Strength
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